I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed this morning and an article jumped out at me “… Husband got a sext from their nanny- and his response is perfect!” I was intrigued. As I started reading, it was what you’d expect- nanny waits until wife is away to deceptively try to come onto the husband. The husband told her no and fired her. That’s it. Talk about anti-climatic. Nothing exciting, nothing crazy. The husband simply didn’t sleep with the nanny.
Is this really what our society has come to? Are we glorifying and praising people for actually keeping their commitments? Are we living in a culture where wedding vows have simply become good intentions rather than faithful promises?
I think it was Chris Rock who said in one of his stand-up acts “men are only as faithful as their options.” What does this even mean? I think it goes back the belief that people are inherently bad. And by bad, I mean that given the right circumstances, we will do what’s best for us. And this idea of care, love, and integrity come into play if it’s convenient. But we don’t like to talk about that. And we certainly don’t want to admit it. But it’s there. Dig deep enough, analyze a little more and you’ll see it. Your natural tendency is to look out for number one.
Relativism seems to have latched onto our society today. This idea of “your truth” and “my truth” has slowly pushed away the notion of any absolute truth. And then we wonder why we reward what should be expected behavior. We question why there is so much pain, so many trust issues, so many broken relationships. When will we say enough is enough? When will we start taking ownership over our actions? People have become so consumed with wanting to do what they want to do, that in an attempt to justify our actions we have blurred the lines of right and wrong while losing any sense of consistency in our actions, respect for others, and peace in our lives.
But there’s still a few of you out there. Those that desire more. Where Christ has laid the foundation of your life and everything you do is built on that. You offer hope. You welcome faith. You welcome trust. Your actions stem from who God is rather that how you feel. Where your faithfulness lies not in your options but in your relationship with Christ. And because of this you offer a consistency that comforts us in ways we sometimes fail to recognize. Where temptation may still come but you have the realization of the destruction your actions could have on others, on your soul. But even if you didn’t know, even if you thought no harm would come, you still choose to do what’s right because your love and trust for God is that strong.
And while that type of love seems to be rare these days, people still chase it. Because of this, you have the power to help change this culture.
photo credit: Holding Hands via photopin (license)
the virgin heartbreaker® 
LOVED this! I am honestly more shocked by wholesome and loving relationships than I am by toxic relationships and cheating. But we can each make a difference by setting a good example with our own relationships so that it is not shocking anymore
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Exactly! I think we’ll be surprised someday to see the difference our lives has made:)
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The ugly truth of today’s relationships.
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Unfortunately:( but I keep pressing on as if it isn’t!
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Unfortunately, many churches teach that we are inherently bad and that men have no control over their passions. But I don’t think looking out for number one is the Christian way of looking at relationships. That’s probably why so many marriages end in divorce. I think we have a responsibility to rise above this pessimism that is so rampant today and show that men can control themselves and can put other people first. We have to show that marriage means more than a legally sanctioned piece of paper, and we have to show that singleness means more than “getting free milk without buying the cow.”
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Loved this post great ideas!
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I also completely agree and on a bigger picture is why I stay with my husband after his affair
That my relationship with God, my walk with Christ
How can I show my kids our belief in what God speaks for marriage, to walk as what Christ talks about love when you don’t feel like it, stand up for the glory of God and die to myself daily, hourly even
Now to anyone who reads this and has not read my blog or my story
I am not a doormat
I am not being physically or mentally abused in my situation
My children are not in danger with their father
I am not being submissive in the eyes of religion as what they say a wife or spouse should do
I want to glorify God and many times being married to an adulterer my feelings get in the way of my mission to God and for my 4 blessings I am
raising
And while divorce has been on the table my walk with Christ hasn’t been
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Wow, I know that must have been a hard decision. Our only responsibility is to stick close to Christ and do what He says- He always shows us the way! And even though we don’t see it sometimes, it’s always what is best for us!
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Yes, this is so true! When the subject of love is brought up, I try not to gush too much about my husband of 12 years because so many women are going through heartbreak. It drives me absolutely insane though when people who know nothing about us or our relationship (we keep all of that extremely private) will tell me things like “watch out, with him working as a professor at a college, especially with his intelligence and how young he looks, he’ll have young girls all over him.” “He wouldn’t do that. We have been (what some might say) shockingly honest and open with one another throughout our entire relationship.” Then they want to pull the “all men are the same/cheaters” card on me. Guys do it with women too…”all girls are sluts or cheaters!” Either a) people aren’t looking for the right person whatsoever, and would rather be with someone they know will hurt them over being alone; or b) so many people get into relationships with these exact misconstrued ideas in their heads. They’re automatically suspicious of one another, snoop through each other’s phones, etc. Of course in a relationship built from the beginning on distrust (for no reason) will eventually come to an end. It’s so much easier too for men and women to generalize the opposite sex, rather than acknowledging that they actually play a much larger role in the problem than they’re ever willing to admit. It really is sad when people are more shocked (or even worse, refuse to believe) that you can commit to one person and both of you can actually stay honest and loyal, than to hear someone cheated! I feel almost like SO many relationships fail and SO many people are cheated on that secretly, deep down, they actually root for strong relationships to fall apart. No one wants to hear about how great your relationship is, but the second there’s even a minor problem, they want every little detail. 😒
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Yep, because it somehow makes them feel better about their own lives. It’s really sad.
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