Wow this is sooo new to me and I don’t even know how to navigate these unchartered territories. I met this guy a few weeks back and for someone who is always confident and on their A game, I have completely crumbled inside. I think I’m doing okay and holding my own outwardly but boy, I don’t think he has any idea how nervous he makes me feel. My saving grace is that he is just as nervous, yet he isn’t so good at hiding it:p Let me explain…
I will give him props for getting my number and initiating our first date. In that area, he is absolutely fantastic. Well mannered, polite, and I think what gets me most flustered (besides his good looks;), is that he values things about me that no one has valued before. It’s different and I like it. I think there is something comforting about someone valuing you in areas that truly make you who you are- your heart, your love, your compassion, your courage. Don’t get me wrong, I love to be called beautiful and I’m glad people appreciate my jokes. But those are silly things when you really think about it. Who I am in so much deeper. And having someone actually recognize things about me that I didn’t think people noticed, well it’s a feeling I’ve never had before.
I’m concerned because I don’t want my emotions to get the best of me before I actually get to know him, ya know? But I am really enjoying our time together. We have great, awkward chemistry, which makes our talks together absolutely unique. Half the time I don’t think we realize what we just said. I’ve stuttered. My comments have made no sense whatsoever. And we will do absolutely anything and it’s fun just because we enjoy being around each other. It’s weird, we were raised similar yet different. Very different pasts- which make both of us intriguing to one another. I told him I was going to have a start writing down things he says because the words he chooses sometimes are extremely comical.
I’m not sure where this is going but I do know two things. One, I’m guarding my heart. And two, I’m loving without fear. Some people may think that’s an oxymoron but it’s not. Praying for God to give me guidance and direction because I’m truly lost without Him. I know He’ll show me just like He always does.
I’ll have to tell you more about our dates (very entertaining) and his character next time! Off to make more memories!