Actions may speak louder than words, but it doesn’t matter because we don’t listen

“Actions speak louder than words” is a common quote many know. It sounds good but the problem with this statement is that we hear it but we don’t listen to it. We see the actions. We know there is something wrong but we dismiss it and we make excuses for it. We are pros at this and some of our reasons for justifying the behavior is almost comical. On top of our own excuses we make because we just want to be happy and hope for the best, we start to believe or try to believe what our significant other says, even when their actions show otherwise. Call me naive, call me gullible, or simply call me dumb but I’ve probably been guilty of falling for this more than anyone. Way too trusting and just tired of ruined relationships before they start- over and over and over again. So I take getting treated like no one should ever be treated.

They say, “I like you- isn’t that enough?” Well actually no, it’s not enough. What does “I like you” even mean? Doesn’t that mean you care about me more than yourself, you ask questions about me, want to talk to me and get to know me? What about the effort- am I worth the investment? If not, the reality is, you don’t like me. Nobody wants to hear those empty words that mean nothing. I’ve excused it too many times. You want me to like you. That’s all. And I knew it from the beginning. But I excused it as young, immature, bad communication skills, you name it. But it gets old. I lose faith, I lose hope. I wasted time but at least I tried and gave you the benefit of the doubt. I don’t want to lose that part of me; I know the right guy will appreciate that.

But boy do I know how to pick them. One of my favorites was the guy I continued to talk to even after I found out he was still in a relationship. Wow. But I believed you when you said you’d been trying to break up with her for 5 months, that she was crazy, but you broke it off now, blocked her, didn’t care about her, and had no feelings for her. I could go on. It scares me sometimes how good people can be at lying. But once again, I gave you the benefit of the doubt. But you gave in when she became persistent and allowed for conversation. You spent more time letting her explain herself than you did getting to know me. But yet “she is never on my mind” and “I have no feelings for her,” were your excuses. I knew better but I hoped. I believed not in us but in the decency of humanity. I mean is it really that hard to tell and show someone you care? Actually just show. No, it’s not. The problem is so many people really just don’t care. I mean they care, just more about themselves. It’s not that complicated. Ignore the words. Watch the behavior. You’d be surprised how enlightening it is. Because when a person really cares you won’t have to talk yourself into believing that they do. You’ll know.

-the virgin heartbreaker

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